Joe Blog

Counsellor’s Dispatch: Attention Campers!

Hike your skirt, pitch a tent and get ready to earn some questionable merit badges when Johannesburg’s sauciest rooftop turns into a fully sanctioned (and minimally supervised) daytime dance party for degenerates.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, 6 December, because from 3 PM until late, The Troyeville Hotel rooftop will be your summer playground. We’re offering an aspartame taste of fabricated nostalgia, transporting you back to the hazy era of “VHS-America,” where you could envision secrets shared in bunk beds, minor emotional turmoil, and the breathy promise of a happy “conclusion”.

Our resident camp DJs are ready to drop beats hotter than a forgotten marshmallow over the flames, leading you through an unadulterated sonic journey of summer bliss. We’ve secured a few special guest “exchange students” from other districts, all dedicated to making sure this daytime dance party walks away with the coveted “loudest cabin” badge.

Your instructions are simple: pack light, dress tight. We’re talking sizzle- season uniforms, neckerchiefs, or any attire that screams, “I peaked at school in ’79.”

Don’t worry about rations - the mess hall will be open, and the bar is quicker than your fleeting teenage summer romance. When the sun finally calls it quits, don’t even think about getting in your sleeping bags! The real fun starts with some serious stargazing - where you can marvel at our signature projected constellations (wait, was that me?), and groove under the celestial glow until the very last firefly fades.

3 PM call time.Dance moves: required.Moral compass: optional.